As a guest in the Republic of the Philippines and talking to a lot of expats on different subjects, one topic always seems to pop-up: exes. In this article, I mesmerize the phenomenon that most of them do not seem to go exit.
Some exes in the Philippines never seem to go exit
They keep sending you messages on a daily basis, or weekly, or so irregularly that you have to remember who she was. And in some cases, years have gone by without hearing from them and all of a sudden they pop-up again in your SMS of the messenger.
Some of them keep ‘stalking’ you forever.
I spoke to a guy who has been harassed by his ex-girlfriend and her new boyfriend for years now.
And my own son has its own experiences with this girl making a fake profile after fake profile on FB to connect with him and slander him.
Someone else told me that there are several exes still wishing him good morning and goodnight every day, with hearts and bunnies as if nothing has changed.
And I must say, maybe it is not only ex-girlfriends doing this, but ex-boyfriends may also do the same thing.
My ex-boyfriend sends me messages occasionally, stating he misses me and trying to get me on a date. And I’m in contact with someone living abroad, who broke up with a Filipino overseas worker that keeps contacting her as well.
All of the guys I talked with, tell me they treated their girlfriends very well. They bought lots of things for them and shared their lifestyle with them. They traveled together, stayed in luxurious resorts and the girls had nothing else to wish for, o yes, that golden ring maybe and a nice fluffy wedding gown.
Maybe because that ring did not happen, that’s why they keep coming back, or something like that?
Filipinos, in general, are pretty easy in letting you go. If there is nothing to gain from contact with you, you are off the radar. At least that is my experience.
But when it comes to love relationships they are pretty persistent. Even if they have moved on into another relationship already.
Why do they do that I wonder? Why do exes in the Philippines, more so than any other culture, come back for more…..more of what? Changes to get back together? Money? Gifts? Or are they just being friendly? Or bitter(sweet)?
For some of them, there seems to be no closure whatsoever.
And the guy I talked to with his former girlfriend and his new (Filipino) boyfriend still contacting him, that girls are history for over 6 years.
Why hold on to something you cannot have? And why, in her case, is her new boyfriend involved as well?
What stories do these people make up in their minds?
His new lifetime partner tells him that he will never get rid of his past girlfriend, she told me it is a Filipino thing…….I was speechless!
The ex-girlfriend of my son keeps sending bitter messages. She sends them to me also. She creates fake Facebook-accounts stating she lives in San Francisco or Oxford and studies things like: art, English literature and other expensive and outrages scholarships.
And we all know it is not true
Facebook has no policy on harassment and with the new messenger, the platform seems to be open for everyone to contact you. All you have to do is accept or decline. Even with your privacy setting set to the maximum, you can not keep people out anymore.
Facebook wants you to have worldwide contact with everybody, also your harassing exes.
Back to the topic: I wonder why Filipinos do not come to closure when it comes to their relationships with foreigners.
I know nothing of this happens among Filipinos when they end a relationship. They simply disappear and you never hear from them again.
Why do they connect again and again with a foreigner they have dated?
Why not show any pride and self-love and move on. Accept that what is finished is finished.
Even when relationships are ended in mutual agreement and with a huge sum of money and gifts to compensate, there is still the urge to crawl back?
I can go on about this subject for hours, for I do not understand it.
It is so different from anything and everything I have ever known in my life that I would love to discuss this with a philosopher or a psychologist and an anthropologist.
if any of you can shed some light on this matter, feel free to respond.
Behold, this blog is in no way judgemental, it is me wondering about a phenomenon. So keep the comments non-judgemental as well. I have no ears for your sad love stories, only on-topic comments will be allowed.
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Jeanette, a Dutch female nomad, started to travel the world at the age of 17. Walker of beaches, shell searcher and iPhone photographer. Writer and owner of two websites
Currently, she lives in Mexico.
She is an emigration coach and works online.