Set your own rules and borders and do not cross them, for anyone. When dating in a foreign culture you must be aware of the possibility you are going to be scammed.
Look out for the warning signs, consult friends when in doubt and listen to your gut feeling.
I have a few sets of rules that I like to share with you:
Never send any money to a person you have never met
Google the person you are dating in order to check them out or do an image search.
I never send or receive parcels or money for anyone I do not want to be at risk of being involved in a crime.
I never send a picture of me that can be used to blackmail or compromise me
Always let someone know you are going out with a person, either the hotel friends or family. So people know where you are and with whom.
I never pay money upfront for things like: day trips, private transport, or any kind of help, cash on delivery is my motto
When my loved one needs financial help and asks me for it I talk to him first to see is he can come up with the money himself, of not, I ask for the bill and pay the specific bill,
I seldom give cash. I rather donate food, clothes or help out in ways that improve living conditions in the long run.
Try to remove the emotion from the decisions you make in your love life. I know it is hard, but it helps you to see things more clearly. Try taking a step back, asking yourself what you would advise a friend if he or she were in your situation, it helps to be objective.
What to do when you have been scammed?
When online, report it to the website you met the person at first. Give them the link to the profile and profile name and the details that might help to stop the person.
If you have shared account details or pin code, contact your bank or financial institution immediately.
Some countries have a scam watch – website, when you are scammed online you can report the incident there. It will help spot new scam trends and break up syndicates that are set up abroad.
If you suffer from personal problems through the scam, like you used up all your savings or even took out a loan to help your loved one, seek professional counseling.
The low self-esteem that you are left with after being abused like this and the bitterness you feel you need to deal with before you can even think about starting dating again. You need to forgive mostly yourself for being so ignorant. And you will go through a lot of emotions.
When you date in a country where you can buy love easily as long as you provide a better future for your loved one, and you find out that it is not true love after all because you suddenly are abandoned, breadcrumbed or given the silent treatment after you closed the wallet, or they found out you are not rich at all, you have to keep in mind that not everybody is the same.
Dating, like everywhere in the world is about making yourself vulnerable. And it only speaks for you that you are able to open yourself up towards another person. Try to regain the ability to do that again in the future with the lessons learned from the past in your mind.
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Jeanette, a Dutch female nomad, started to travel the world at the age of 17. Walker of beaches, shell searcher and iPhone photographer. Writer and owner of two websites
Currently, she lives in Mexico.
She is an emigration coach and works online.