Experiencing an emotional blockage is like running blindfolded. You have no idea where you are heading and how to enjoy life. Everybody has a different name to describe the feeling; numb, feeling left out, distracted, blocked, depressed, sadness, no ability to cry. But most people will say it is a heaviness inside your chest that wont lift.
An emotional blockage is nothing physical so it’s easy to ignore.
It is easy to recognize an emotional blockage:
1. You feel disconnected from the world around you and nobody seems to meet your expectations
Sometimes without knowing it, out of self-protection or because we are perfectionists we come up with unspoken sets of rules on how people should behave around us. How they should show appreciation or love. There is a huge danger in those unspoken rules. They make you focus more and more on what people are NOT doing instead on the positive side of what they are doing.
2. You think in terms of ‘should do’. You feel obliged most of the time
A should do attitude is never a good motivator for anyone. And neither is the feeling of compulsory tasks. So whenever you feel like you ‘should do’ something and feel resentment, take a few minutes to reconsider.
Do you really have to do this? And do you have to do it this specific way? Or are there other ways to do this that have the same end result?
This way you follow your own rules in required tasks or you decide not to do it because you feel free to say ‘no’.
3. You have constant uneasy feelings about past relationships
When you find yourself going over past relationship over and over again, either personally or professionally, you have a serious problem of letting go. Every time you reflect on what happened and what could have happened if, you feel an emotional fringe that can only be removed by closing the book. relationships sometimes do not last for a lifetime, or end in a bad way. That is part of life. Delete all information you have on that particular person, unfriend them on social media and delete past messages and contact information on your phone. Do not be confronted (on purpose or by surprise) and avoid reliving the moment over and over again.
4. You are in self conflict because of guilt
Some people love to socialise, it is only for a few to enjoy solitude to serve a higher purpose. Most of us love to please others and contribute to group dynamics. From the first days of mankind we were living in groups for it made us stronger and gave us a higher survival rate. Nowadays with social media being everywhere, being 24/7 connected and in a goal oriented society this can also lead to extreme, an over-pleasing attitude. It is easier to say: “yes sure”, than to disappoint people by saying: “no, I cannot do that”. And sometimes both end up in a mayor guilt trip. Either because you made a promise you can not keep or because you see the face of the people who cannot deal with an honest ‘no’. In both cases you are stuck with the feeling of letting people down.
You have to realise that you have to come first. When you are always looking for affirmation from people and want to please them to feel good about yourself, you need to work on your self confidence and self love.
5. You owe someone an apology
Something went wrong in a relationship, maybe you made a promise you could not keep or you haven’t kept in touch for a long time and you know the other person is waiting for you to reach out and left several messages you ignored. Or maybe you just did something terribly wrong and the other person cut you off and it makes you feel bad.
Now is the time to reach out and apologize, in person or by letter. For stuff like that can really block you and hold you back.
6. You often start things but seldom finish anything
Is your desk or drawer a mess of unfinished projects? is there an seemingly endless to-do-list in the back of your mind? Are you undisciplined and do you seldom reach an endgoal?
The nagging emotions that come with that kind of lifestyle can drain you. it is always there, in the background of your subconsciousness and you may not be aware of it but your body will physically respond to it by making you feel tired all the time, unexplained headaches and that heavy feeling on your chest that you wake up with even on sunny mornings.
7. you know your life is all wrong but you have no energy to change it
The most energy draining thing of all is feeling stuck in a life that is not satisfactory. When you dread going to work every day or looking for a job you are qualified for and you just can’t seem to break out of that endless treadmill you are in, maybe it is time for a big change.
We all experience emotions in our bodies, our body responds to the emotional state of your mind. They only way out of this circle is to break right through it. You have to face the truth and you have to work from there.
Here is how to do that:
- Take a moment – Find a quiet place if you can. Maybe you can go in a restroom or find a quiet corner. When you practice this method more and more in the future you can just shut the world out right there and then, whenever you need it. In the beginning it will definitely help to find a quiet spot.
- Scan your body – Is there a knot in your stomach? A heaviness in your chest? A lump in your throat? Do your shoulders feel cramped and stiff? Explore the sensation and give it a word. Make that word vocal.
- Return to the issue that made you feel this way – Try to observe by being an innocent bystander, try not to feel any emotions and not to judge. When doing this, past events may come to mind, let them come, they will help you explore even deeper. You can find the reason for your feelings at any point of your life. Sometimes you have to go back all the way to your childhood.
- Stay in the moment – If nothing useful comes up, let it go, the most important is that you acknowledge what the situation does with your body. If you follow the feeling, you will experience that it will evolve, flow, change shape and finally will become less. You may find the urge to yawn or take a deep breath. Straighten your shoulders and feel ready to return to the every day turmoil and world outside.
I think you will be amazed by the effects once you start doing these exercises. You will move past emotional blocks more easily after every practice. And it will take the load from your shoulders.
Advice: When you distance yourself in a quiet area and go over the situation, it might happen that so much surfaces that you cannot handle this alone. In that case, when the emotions do not subside, but grow, you need to visit a professional therapist to help you work through it.