How to keep a Filipino man happy? 5 Firsthand Tips
When you are in a cross-cultural relationship you might have the feeling you are grasping at straws when it comes to understanding your partner’s needs. Some of those needs are culturally influenced, others are plain male needs, no problem with fulfilling the last part, but the first part dazzles me sometimes.
Filipino women are way more submissive to family, household and even the husband, especially outside the house. I’m a kind of an outspoken person and I really have to learn to adjust at certain moments and keep my mouth shut so my BF does not lose face in public. Or stop asking questions that are pretty normal to me to ask (culture wise), but very inappropriate to a Filipino family or in-laws.
And when I research the internet in my longing to find answers I do not find much information on the subject. So I decided to write an article about it with firsthand tips.
1. Give him all the love you needs
Filipinas know how to peck on their man, that is one thing the internet told me, if they do not get their way, they give the man ‘tampo’ (the silent treatment) which can last for days. I do not know about your western culture, but I was not raised with the tampo phenomenon. So, easy scoring points in that one. I like to talk about our arguments or differences rather than give him the silent treatment. For me, that is a way of showing my love and my respect for my S.O. (significant other) and our relationship. That includes: no nagging.
Nothing more discouraging for a guy to come home to than a nagging wife or girlfriend. That goes beyond cross-cultural, which is international.
Words can cut like a knife, so use them carefully.
Let your BF know he is the only one for you, that his presence and giving you his love is all you ever want in life. Say good morning with a smile, kiss him goodnight at night.
Kiss his cheek every now and then to show tenderness, stroke his face, put your arm around him when he stands next to you (and the situation allows it)
When in public or family meetings and you are dating a traditional man who does not want to show affection in public, touch his hand, make eye contact or brush him occasionally to show him you notice him in a crowd.
Let him know he is the only one for you, even in a crowd, by making eye contact
2. Surprise him
Nothing nicer than a surprise note with ‘I love you” in his lunch or pocket. A text message during the day telling him you are thinking of him or waiting for him when he comes home.
The best surprise is when you do not expect a message back. Guys always get a little nervous when we women start texting, it can be the beginning of an endless session, do not expect anything in return, and if he does, just accept his text and enjoy his attention. Do not text back unless he asks a question.
Decide to do each day at least one thing that will make him happy. Cook his favorite meal, wash his favorite shirt so he can wear it again, offer him a foot massage after a long day or surprise him with a special intense kiss when he comes home or even a sexy outfit.
Make every day a day with moments of positive affirmation of your love and devotion to him and your relationship
3. Stay confident about yourself
Now here I’m preaching to the choir since I do not feel that confident about myself. But it is a circle. If your man loves you to the bone, you will grow in your self-confidence and you want to take good care of yourself. You want to stay sexy for him.
Staying sexy does not mean you have to put on your glamour make-up on a laundry day. Staying sexy is that you know you are beautiful, that you show self-confidence and have a life of your own, so you do not suffocate him.
A woman that is strong and confident in her female role is very sexy to men.
When going out, dress up, so he can be proud of you.
Go to bed together, undress in front of him or at least in his presence, do not hide.
And trust him, nothing is sexier to a man than a woman that trusts him and does not snoop around in his phone or follows his whereabouts through town or on social media. It is all a matter of self-confidence. The guy loves you….trust him, do not doubt him.
4. Be supportive
Talking about emotions does not come easy for all men. Some really struggle to open up to their partner. So if your S.O. does make sure you support him. Drop everything and make time for him.
Encourage him, ask him about his day to help him open up to you, show genuine interest in his dreams, in his future plans or his daily business.
Encourage him to take on new things, be supportive even if he fails,
Give him positive affirmation. About himself, his business and his daily stuff.
My BF likes to hear from me that I find him handsome. He doesn’t think he is gwapo, to me he is the most handsome man in the world.
Yes, of course, I like the looks of other men, like Bon Jove (just to name one) but I do not know Bon Jove, I know my BF and he is the best for me, so he is my gwapo, in his looks, his personality and the way he moves.
5. Make him feel respected
About him being just the right guy: I do not want to change my BF. I fell in love with this guy and he is just right the way he is.
I dislike it a lot when I hear women say after dating a guy a few weeks: yeah, he is okay, but he should wax, or not wear that favorite jacket of his…..gosh that is so out of tune with the words: I love you.
That is saying I love you but……and here comes the list.
It is not very respectful. I respect my man. I respect him for who he is, from the day I met him, so why should I want to change him. Never try to change your S.O.
If you feel the need to change your partner, take a good look at your motives, maybe he is not Mr. Right for you, after all,
With respect also comes personal freedom, do not deny your partner certain alone-time with the guys. To talk me-talk, watch a game and maybe even get drunk. Or to go to fiestas, I know only a few words Bisaya, and even fewer people on the Island, to me Fiesta’s are a crime to visit. I also do not like crowds or parties that much, I will never deny my BF to go to a fiesta if he wants to go. Have fun babe, enjoy your time away from me.
Another thing is he might need freedom, (read: time away from you) to tend to his family needs. His mother or father might need him sometimes, or his brother, or the uncle of his brother’s neighbor. Blood is thicker than water, and you as a GF or loving partner should never come between family matters.
I remember a conversation with my BF in one of the first weeks we met when someone called him and needed him urgently and I said: you are like a labrador dog, always willing to serve. So many people are your priority….and he just looked at me and said: one day maybe you will be my family also and you will be my top priority.
Long story short: Do not doubt your guy, trust him, give him his alone-time and love and respect him and he will come home to you because you are his top priority.
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Jeanette, a Dutch female nomad, started to travel the world at the age of 17. Walker of beaches, shell searcher and iPhone photographer. Writer and owner of two websites
Currently, she lives in Mexico.
She is an emigration coach and works online.