5 signs a person is over you after breakup that are universal
When you are dating in a different culture you have to face the cultural differences between you and your date or loved one. And when the relationship continues this does not become more easy, just more known. You get more experience. But what if the relationship ends? How do you know for sure when a relationship is over when dating in a different culture?
In cultures like the Philippines and Mexico, it is pretty common for exes to stay in touch. For Dutch people, this is not so common. Some do, but with clear boundaries about friendship. But most don’t. Relationship advice on the internet is mostly written from an American perspective and does not count for all countries in the world, although we love to tend to think so, especially when the article speaks to our deepest wishes.
Is your ex still orbiting you or even pursuing you?
When you date in a culture that keeps orbiting you, and you come from a culture where orbiting is considered something not wanted it can be pretty confusing. What does my ex want? Does he want me back? Does he still love me? What to think? How do I respond to his/her messages? Do I respond at all?
At the moment I am single I broke up with my last relationship attempt 8 months ago. I blocked him for many reasons, the most important is that he does not respect my boundaries for not wanting to talk with him anymore.
Those boundaries have their reasons. In the relationship, he was very controlling and possessive and he simply does not accept the breakup. Whenever I unblock him he starts sending me messages again. His latest love bombing was about forwarding photos of me that I sent him, of us together in times he considered as happy times. Times I consider as confusing and limited due to his jealousy and neediness.
Times I do not look back on in terms of pleasure and being happy in love. But rather times of: how can I get away from this man and make him leave me alone. I broke up with him several times in the 6months I dated him. But he always wiggled his way back into my life. Showed up on my doorstep unannounced, roamed the neighborhood to spot me, and well, kind of borderline stalker behavior.
So I set boundaries and lucky for me I moved to the other side of the country, he knew beforehand I was going to move away anyhow and that our relationship was only temporary.
His constant need to convince me I still love him made me think
He is convinced I still love him and have a temporary moment of Alzheimer’s or something, he tells me he loves me deeply no matter what I do, I am the love of his life and his pure love for me will forgive me for anything I say or do. I am the love of his life. He is a widower, my age, and raised in the Mexican macho generation, and treated me like a possession rather than a human being.
He does not believe I never reached the point of true love, never came further than the butterfly stage, and liked him for his sweet moments.
And I have no clue whether is it a cultural thing or a personal thing he will not let go of. So I was thinking if it is a cultural thing, how long will this last and how do Mexicans break up? How do you know all over the world that your relationship is over? Is it the same everywhere? Or are they really cultural differences?
I give you 5 universal reasons to know for sure your relationship is over
Besides the cultural differences of staying in contact every now and then in for example Asia, most countries have the same tell-tale signs a relationship is over. Because it does not to be written on a wall to know. And it is my good guess that when you search the internet in desperation to make sure you interpret the signs right, you already know it is over. You just are looking for comfort.
But for those still in doubt, here they are, the 5 signs your relationship is over in any part of the world, in any culture, in any wish it wasn’t under all circumstances and for now and forever.
(And I do hope my current ex reads this also!)
1. The relationship is over in any culture when the other person says it is over.
When i person tells you they no longer want to be in a relationship with you anymore, for whatever reason, the relationship is over. The only option you have is to respect the other person’s wishes. Especially when you love the other person deeply. Love is not about holding on to what does not resonate anymore, love is about being able to let go of what wants to be free.
2. The relationship, no matter what country you are dating is over when the other person is indifferent towards your current relationship status
If you still have contact with your ex and they never inquire about your relationship status, or when you share you are dating they are just fine with that, you know it is definitely over.
3. The relationship is over when the other person is dating again or in a relationship again
When the other person is dating and encourages you to move on as well, the relationship is over. No chance they are coming back, no matter how long you ignore them or go “no contact”. When they are seeing someone else you have to let go and respect it is over.
4. The relationship is over everywhere in the world if the other person does not reply to your messages anymore or tells you to delete their number and move on
If you are still contacting your ex and they tell you to stop and move on, you know for sure the relationship is over. Your ex clearly does not want to know about you or text with you. And you texting or contacting them is becoming disrespectful when you continue.
5. The relationship is over when the other person does not prioritize you anymore as being the most valuable person in their lives.
Remember those ‘Good morning” and “Good Night” Messages? They were a sign you once were on their minds every moment of the day. Those have gone, maybe your messages are on “read” for days without a reply. That is simply because you are no longer a priority. Your ex has no obligations and no desire to text back as fast as they can because they no longer feel the urge to stay in contact with you. It is not important anymore. That is a tell-tale sign the relationship is over, no matter where in the world you are breaking up.
But what if my ex does change his/her mind?
You are stubborn, aren’t you? Ending this article with that thought in mind or skipping the article just to read only this because your hopeful eyes focus only on these words.
When your ex does change his mind the relationship is still over. You are still broken up. And the relationship you HAD is finished. (read: Getting back with your ex, 5 emotional stages)
If you have any questions about international dating, please do not hesitate to leave a comment or book your special time with me to talk about it.
JC from Holland
Jeanette, a Dutch female nomad, started to travel the world at the age of 17. Walker of beaches, shell searcher, and iPhone photographer. Always horizon bound preferably on a motorcycle. Currently, she lives in a desert village in Baja California Sur in Mexico. She is an emigration coach and works online.